I was talking to a friend the other day who was complaining about how boring and monotonous life has become. We live in a fast-paced century where being slow is now considered a crime. This means no rest, no peace, no time off, no alone time, nothing new or different and doing the same old things in the same old ways. This conversation with him left me perplexed. How are we going to stay happy in the ever changing present time and cope with the dynamics of life. That’s when I thought- if we don’t reinvent ourselves and figure new ways of connecting with our inner being, we will either burn out or perish or both. And what better time to do this when we are just about to bid adieu to the old year and step into a new one.
Its imperative to reinvent ways of loving, caring or connecting with self. The old ways are old, redundant and for all you know a faulty plan. In 2020, lets resolve to kick start the year with some fabulous ways of falling in love with yourself and reinventing YOU. I follow a few ways of expressing love or care to self and I suggest the same to my clients whom I have coached and they have found these ways very useful. Most of the following have worked for me, few others for my loved ones and some others for the ones I have known. But the strike rate of these steps has always been good when it comes to achieving success in reinventing oneself. So lets take a quick look at how you can fall in love with yourself all over again and rediscover the real You:
- Say Yes to surprises that life throws at you
When new things happen, when a change sets in, we usually get troubled or find ways to stay in the old zone. This year make it a point to say yes to all those things that you would normally say No to. For instance- say yes to an outing that you would have originally turned down, get out and do the new things which you may be uncomfortable trying, meet a stranger and hang out, say yes to new things. Let life surprise you and simply go with the flow. Do not resist the new thigs that come your way.
- Ask for what you want
Go all out, get confident and ask for what you deserve and what you want. ‘Ask and it shall be given’, is the famous quote and to a large extent it is true. Don’t hesitate in asking what you feel is right. It may need a little bit of work initially, but once you start, you will see the confidence boost it gives you and how your life can never be the same again.
- Recreate the happy moments of life
Make a list of all the happy times, moments and memories that you spent in your past. Figure out, ways to recreate them. This may mean getting in touch with old friends, reviving lost contact, going back to an old sport or doing something absolutely funny and forgotten. But this is what will rekindle the fun. Just do it and see the thrill it adds to life.
- Star a new activity that is fulfilling
This means picking up something new and exciting which can be performed on a regular basis. The key elements in this step is to find an activity which is enjoyable and easily doable. If these two parameters are met, then you have cracked the code. You could try doing something which is in sync with your abilities or strengths for example gardening, reading, playing a sport, joining a hobby class or simply taking a walk or spending time talking to friends more often.
- Change one thing that you don’t like about yourself
There is no better critic of you than yourself. So make a list of top five things that you don’t like about yourself and pick one that you resolve to change it in the new year. Put all your energies in changing this negative and turn it into a strength. You could be dealing with bad temper, repressed emotions, tendency to accept defeat easily, lack of will power, arrogance or ill behavior. Change that one thing, anything about yourself which you know is not good for you and see how life brightens up.
- Make a list of your accomplishments
Last but not the least, make a list of your accomplishments both small and big. Put up this list in a place where you can see it every day like on your wardrobe door or the work cubicle. This list will remind you about your accomplishments, success, strengths and the happiness that came from achieving those goals. This list will revive the dormant winner in you and reinvent life in unimaginable ways. This list will motivate you to recreate history and go all out and accomplish bigger goals.
These are my top six go to steps in reinventing myself. So far it has worked and I am certain it shall also work for you. If there is any clarification you need, please feel free to drop an email on coach@karmelnair.com and I will be delighted to help.
Karmel Nair is a practicing Psychotherapist, Certified Life Coach and also a published author for a leading publishing house. Visit karmelnair.com for more information on her work.