“Good works gathered in a thousand ages,
Such as deeds of generosity Or offerings to the Blissful Ones:
A single flash of anger shatters them” .
I came upon the above quote online while looking up a book to help overcome anger. I have been battling anger issues for a very long time now and while in all honesty I can say that I have got better at managing it but I am yet far from eradicating it. Saying so, my attempt sin working out ways to fix anger issues have been paramount and therefore the need to share it with you.
Each persons emotion of anger varies and totally depends on the persons potential to either fix it or live with it. Anger is a difficult emotion and has strong characteristics. It is powerful, can occur instantaneously, can prove to be a potential threat to self or others and is the root cause of ailments. Anger is the parent emotion for other unsettling emotions of hatred, guilt, resentment, animosity and an unforgiving ego. Anger is like the god father of the all the negative human emotions. If anger can be worked upon, all the other ancillary emotions which I stated above could easily be dealt with. If anger is replaced with a simple emotion of love or say, patience, the outcome of such an emotion of love or patience would be care, compassion, kindness, forgiving nature and a state of ego lessness. Anger can only be replaced with love and the journey from anger to get to love can be achieving by adopting the path of patience. Being patient is the only way to work around anger and gradually loosen its grip over you. Treading the path of patience is the only way to reach the goal of love which is the final stage of zero anger. But it is easier said that done and I know this is exactly what you are thinking. Anger is a powerful, over riding, destructive emotion. We are also aware of how hurtful and painful the outcomes of anger can be. If we only wished I didn’t get angry ever or knew a way to somehow fix my anger issues. The reason I call anger as MY Anger is simply because I have complete control of this emotion. Its not hard to understand tat we have the choice to either get angry, have an outburst, walk away from the situation or simply stay calm. All these outcomes rest in my hand. Then why is it that we choose anger so easily over the above mentioned options. It is because getting angry, bloating the ego is a quick and an easy mental conditioning that we have given our mind. If you decided to fix your anger, your way and not react at all, then this anger has no power over you. Anger only becomes strong destructive when you give it that power, that control over you. It is like, you have a dog who is either well behaved or ill trained basis your way of handling and training with the dog. Mind is like the dog, teach it to behave it, teach it to be patient with people and with situations. And your mind will begin to obey.
The next time you get angry, get up and walk away from the situation. Sit somewhere else, go some place else or exit from the situation and return having figured an alternative option of dealing with the situation that angers you. If you cant leave the situation, then accept it. Accept that you are angry and it is fine to feel the anger, but the awareness that comes from this acceptance is what can help you change the game. Once you are aware that you are beginning to get angry, watch the emotions or feelings that arise inside you. Observe the emotions and feelings of anger, what it does to you, the rising of the heart beat, the churning of the stomach, the sudden precipitation, the heat in the body and continue to watch them without adding any dialogues, justification or explanation to them, basically be non-judgmental. Just simply note – ‘I am angry ‘and watch the emotions and feelings. After sometime you may realize that anger has dissipated. Watching, observing, noting and that’s all. If you maintain this sequence when in an angry situation, anger will melt away. Initially this may seem to take forever to work, but as you patiently work on it, you will get better.
Along with this exercise, if we kept our expectations in check and desires in control, we wont ruin our state of mind which usually is perturbed by such causes. You have the power over anger and this knowing is the ultimate truth. You can either be angry or choose to stay calm.